Grandpa's Safe Sex

A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around. Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?" Grandpa replies, "Nope." Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?" Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."

Goat Rubbing

Q: Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat?
A: He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday

Do you Already Have a Child?

During the wedding ceremony, when the minister comes to the part about, "If anyone has any reason why these two people should not marry, speak up now or forever hold your peace", get a young boy to run up the aisle yelling, "Daddy, daddy."
I understand from a friend who played this joke on a relative that it took almost an hour to get the wedding started again.