Absent Minded Husband

Anniversaries and birthdays complicate my life. I'm an absent-minded husband . . . of a present-minded wife.

Jerks Get Attractive Wives

While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear!"

The View

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer.
I saw it through my telescope last night.