Trade In Value

Get a new car for your spouse; it will be a great trade!

No Score

On their first date, Sam asks Rosie what she’d like to do. Rosie replies, “Get weighed!” Sam finds this a curious request but takes her to the automatic scales outside the pharmacy. Then he suggests they go to the movies. After seeing the film Sam again asks Rosie what she wants to do. “Get weighed!” says Rosie. Again Sam takes her to the pharmacy to get weighed then suggests they have a meal. After dinner he asks what she’d like to do now. “Get weighed!” says Rosie. Sam is exasperated by these odd requests and after taking her to the pharmacy for another weighing drops her home. Rosie’s mother greets her at the door. “How was your date, darling?” asks her mother. “Wousy!” replies Rosie.

Free Meat

Many years, a young woman entered the village butcher shop with a baby in her arms. She confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his. "What are you going to do about it," she asked. The butcher thought about it, and offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.
The butcher marked the years on his calendars. One day, the teenager came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."
"I know," said the butcher, with a smile. "I've been counting too. When you take this parcel of meat home, tell your mother that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."
When the boy arrived home he told his mother. The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years. Then watch the expression on HIS face!"