Three Beautiful Daughters

A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?" "No." The second beau came to the door and said, "I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?" "No." The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. "Hello, my name is Chuck." The farmer shot Chuck.

Nude Sunbathing

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd tip your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would tip itself."

Driver Has No Money

Sign seen on the back of a truck: Driver carries no money, his wife has it!