Wrong Finger

I saw my old girlfriend the other day and she had her wedding ring on the wrong finger.  When I pointed this out to her, she said, "I know, I married the wrong man!"

Nude Sunbathing

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd tip your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would tip itself."

Driver Has No Money

Sign seen on the back of a truck: Driver carries no money, his wife has it!