The Life Of The Party

The couple were leaving the cocktail party, where the husband, slightly flushed, had been the life of the party.
"John," she said, "did anyone ever tell you how fascinating, how romantic, and how handsome you are?"
"No," the man replied happily, looking at his wife, "I don't think anyone ever did?"
"Well," she snapped, "then where did you ever get the idea!!!"

Learning To Love

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong. "Ohhh, it's my girlfriend." "Oh yeah? What's the problem?" "When I asked her if she could learn to love me," he said, "she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education."

A Lasting Marriage

With Pete soon to celebrate his 50th wedding anniversary at the church's marriage marathon, the minister asked him to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to maintain his marriage with the same woman all these years. The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions." The minister inquired "Trips to where?" "For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China." The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Pete. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?" Pete smirked and says, "I'm going to go get her."