Social Security Sex

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

Happy Marriage

I'm really a lucky guy. I never realized how much my wife loved me until the other day when I was sick and stayed home from work. She was so happy to have me home, that every time someone came to the door, like the mailman or deliveryman, she'd shout, "My husbands home! My husband's home!" What a gal I married!

She's Dead

After their love-making session a young bride asks her husband "Was making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?" "Yes, she's dead too!"