Walmart Greeter

So I finally landed a job as a Walmart greeter. About two hours into my first day on the job a loud, mean and unattractive woman enters the store with her two children yelling obscenities at them the whole way.
Per my greeter instructions, I pleasantly said, "Good Morning and welcome to Walmart. Nice children you have there, are they twins?"
Agitated, the women sharply fires back, "Hell no, they ain't twins. This here one is 7, and this other one is 10. Why would you think they're twins? Are you blind, stupid, or both?"
To which I replied, "Ma'am, I am neither blind nor stupid. I just couldn't believe that someone slept with you twice."

Cheer up Hillary

Q: How did Bill try and cheer up Hillary on the second day after Trump was elected?
A: He reminded her that she wouldn't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.

Where Does Bill Clinton Have Sex?

Q: Where does Bill Clinton have sex?
A: In the oral office.