Government Like Prostitute

Q: Why is the government like a prostitute?
A: Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!

Clinton Dog

Q: Why is Bill Clinton happy he named his dog "Buddy?"
A: Because it's a BAD TIME to be yelling "come Spot!" in the Whitehouse.

Senior CCW

I'm a senior citizen and just got my concealed carry permit. I went to Cabela's to purchase a Glock 43 because it was just the right size and weight for me to carry.  When I was ready to pay, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."  Pissed off that Bloomberg's gun control wacko's had gone too far, I did as she had instructed.  When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the chip card reader.  I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
 They need to make their instructions for seniors a little clearer.