Gynecologist and Genealogist

Q: What's the difference between a gynecologist and a genealogist?
A: A genealogist looks up the family tree. A gynecologist looks up the family bush.

Sky Diving

Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

Influenced Decision

After drinking too much at the holiday party I stopped at a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.