One Line Bumper Stickers

• Death is Nature's way of saying 'slow down'.
• Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
• Earn cash in your spare time... blackmail friends.
• Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.
• Going the speed of light is bad for your age.
• Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
• Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.
• History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
• It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
• It works better if you plug it in. 

Carinet

Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
A: You can't!

Business One-Liners 03

• A day without sunshine is like night.
• A disagreeable task is its own reward.
• A donkey is a horse designed by a study team.
• A fail-safe circuit will destroy others.
• A flying particle will seek the nearest eye.
• A fool and his money are soon elected.
• A fool and his money stabilize the economy.
• A free agent is anything but.
• A friend in need is a pest indeed.
• A geophysicist is not drunk as long as he can hang onto a single blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.