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The best jokes and joke writers!

This Old Man

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter. Without a muttering word of protest, the old man gets up from his seat and quietly leaves the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he!" And the waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles!"

Challenge Jar

A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a large jar filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?" "Well, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, then you get all the money." "What are the three tests?" asks the man. "Gotta pay first." So the guy gives him the $10 bucks, and the bartender adds it to the jar. "OK, here's what you have to do. First, you have to drink that whole bottle of pepper tequila -- the WHOLE thing at once -- and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there is a 90-year-old woman upstairs who's never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her." "Well, I know I've paid my $10 bucks," says the man, "but I'm not an idiot. No wonder you've collected so much money -- that's impossible!" The new guy proceeds to drink several whiskeys, and eventually, he gets up his nerve. "Wherez zat teeqeelah?" he slurs. He grabs the bottle of pepper tequila with both hands and downs it, gulp by gulp. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back. Everyone in the bar hears a huge scuffle outside -- barking, yelping and growling, then silence. Just when they think the man must be dead, he staggers back into the bar with his shirt ripped and gashes across his body. "NOW," he says, "wherez at ol' lady with the sore tooth?"

Talking Frog

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him.

"Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!"

Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him.

"Hey mister," said the frog. "A wicked witch cast a spell on me, and turned me into an ugly frog. If you'll just kiss me I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."

Dad reached down, picked up the frog, put it in his pocket, and proceeded to walk on.

The frog called out to him again, "Hey! Didn't you hear me? I said if you'll kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess and be forever grateful."

Dad replied, "I heard you, but at my age, I'd rather just have a talking frog!"

Old Golfer

At a Sunday church service, the priest asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" All but one man held up their hand. "Mr. Webber, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," he replied gruffly. "Mr. Webber, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and applauded. "Mr. Webber, would you please tell us how one can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer slowly stood and said simply, "I outlived all them assholes."

Old Man and Viagra

This old man in his eighties got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, "Where are you going ?"He said, "I'm going to the doctor." And she said, "Why? Are you sick?" "No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills." So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?" She said, "I'm going to the doctor too." He said, "Why?" She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."