An office worker opened his pay envelope to find his check was short $100. He called the accounting department to voice his complaint.
"You're right, we made a mistake," said the clerk, "but last week we overpaid you $100 and we didn't hear you complaining then."
"Look," said the man, "I can overlook one mistake. But two weeks in a row?"
Oysters to Charity
Q: Why don't oysters give to charity?
A: Because they're shellfish.
Here's one about the old native American who wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?" "Take jewelry to the city and sell it," was the response. "What have you got for collateral?", asked the Banker, curiously. "I have a horse.", said the old man. "How old is it?", said the banker. "Don't know, has no teeth.", replied the old man.
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off. "What are you going to do with the rest of that money?" "Put in teepee.", replied the old man. "Why don't you deposit it in my bank," the banker asked. "Don't know deposit.", responded the old Native American. The banker replied, "You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it." The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for collateral?"
Jack and Jill Economics
Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two fifty. Go figure.
Q: Did you hear about the welfare doll?
A: You wind it up and it doesn't work.