Oysters to Charity
Q: Why don't oysters give to charity?
A: Because they're shellfish.
Think Nobody Cares Your're Alive?
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Here's one about the old native American who wanted a loan for $500. The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?" "Take jewelry to the city and sell it," was the response. "What have you got for collateral?", asked the Banker, curiously. "I have a horse.", said the old man. "How old is it?", said the banker. "Don't know, has no teeth.", replied the old man.
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off. "What are you going to do with the rest of that money?" "Put in teepee.", replied the old man. "Why don't you deposit it in my bank," the banker asked. "Don't know deposit.", responded the old Native American. The banker replied, "You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it." The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for collateral?"
I'm tired of people saying all black people look alike. We don't all look alike. Ain't it funny how they always say we all look alike until we go cash a check? Then we don't look like nobody.
Daughter in College
Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?
As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"