Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer

Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawl means certain death. Dihydrogen monoxide:

1. Is also know as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
2. Contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
3. May cause severe burns.
4. Contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
5. Accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
6. May cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
7. Has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

CONTAMINATION IS REACHING EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS! Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars in property damage in the Midwest, and recently California. Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• As an industrial solvent and coolant
• In nuclear power plants
• In the production of styrofoam
• As a fire retardant
• In many forms of cruel animal research
• In the distribution of pesticides; even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical
• As an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer! THE HORROR MUST BE STOPPED! The American government has refused to ban the production and distribution chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation". In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use. IT'S NOT TOO LATE! Act NOW to prevent further contamination!

Dancing Soldiers

Q: Why did so many black men get killed in Vietnam?
A: When the generals would yell, "Get down!" they would all start dancing.

GI insurance

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly100% of the recruits he advised. Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they are going to send into battle first?"