Military Jokes - Navy Jokes

A young Air Force 2nd Lieutenant had just arrived at Misawa AFB in Japan. He'd been given a beautiful renovated office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw an enlisted man come into his outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the officer picked up the phone and started to pretend he was exchanging chit chat with the Base Commander. He threw Colonel's and General's names around and talked about letting them stay in his Daddy's condo in Hawaii, and then set up a golfing date between him, the Base Commander, and the CO's of the Naval Security Group and Naval Air Facility. Finally he hung up and asked the Sergeant, "Can I help you sergeant?" The TSGT said, "Yes sir, I'm here to activate your phone lines."

Q: Why do so many Polish navy personnel drown?

A: Because when the engine stops, they all have to get out and push!

The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company. The U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's salon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place. Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the salon. It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the broken submarine?

A: It didn’t go down that well.

Q: Where do they store surplus belly buttons?

A: The naval reserve.