Military Jokes - Navy Jokes

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat. "My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?" "Yes," said the Navy brat. "My dad has built them." Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?" "Yes." "It's my dad who's killed it!"

A U.S. Navy Destroyer stopped four Mexicans in a rowboat heading toward the coast of California. The Captain gets on the loud-speaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft.  Where are you headed?" One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, " We're invading California to reclaim the territory taken by the U.S. during the 1800's." The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-speaker and asks, "Just the four of you?" The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The other 2.3 million are already there!"

Nobody on the destroyer laughed.

You know why they put marines on navy ships?

So the sailors have someone to dance with.

I always say how I joined the Navy but wanted to join the Marines. I just couldn't pass the physical. This usually gets them to start talking about how much tougher they are. Then I say, yeah, just couldn't get my head in the jar.

Q: Do you know why Iraq's navy has glass bottomed ships?

A: So the sailors can see their air force!