Military Jokes - Navy Jokes

Did you hear about the Polish Navy's tragic accident? A hundred and thirty-seven sailors drowned trying to push-start their new submarine.

In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle.

That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Q: What does M.A.R.I.N.E stand for?

A: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment

Q: Why does the Navy have Marines on aircraft carriers?

A: Sheep are too obvious.

An Admiral visited one of the ships under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit. He went to the Culinary Specialist to ask how this feat was done, and how to replicate it on other ships under his command. The CS replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia." Horrified, the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"

The CS shrugged and replied, "Well, if that's the way you feel, Sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."