Afflictions

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, "Hey, what're you in for?" "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little worried," said Tim. "Oh, don't worry about it," Sammy said. "I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!" "Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. "That's not half-bad. So, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?" "I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is," Sammy answered. "Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for over a year!"

How Many People Work...

One day a boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework, the chapter about government. The boy turns to his father and asks, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" The father replies without hesitating, "Oh, about ten percent."

Poisonous Snake Family

A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."