Yogurt Trouble

My four-year-old was struggling to open his yogurt, when he suddenly mumbled, "Fucking shitty lid." My wife immediately looked at me and said, "I wonder where he got that from?" I said, "The fucking fridge, you silly bitch."

Yo Mama - Home Cooking

Yo mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.

Lost and Found

Buried my grandmother in the wrong plot.
That was a grave mistake.