Ungrateful

Someone stopped me today and asked me for directions to the nearest cosmetic surgeon. I gave them detailed instructions on how to get there, then they turned round and said "Well if you know the way, why haven't you been there you ugly bastard?"

Haunted House Position

I heard that you went to the haunted house and they offered you a job.

Insult Collection #7

• I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.
• I hear you are connected to the Police Department, by a pair of handcuffs.
• Hello, tall, dark and obnoxious!
• You remind me of the ocean, you make me sick.
• You should have been born in the Dark Ages you look terrible in the light.
• All of your ancestors must number in the millions it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
• Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.
• I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
• They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.
• After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.
• You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.
• I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!