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The best jokes and joke writers!

Put-Downs

  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!
  • Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!
  • Baptists: only trouble is, they don't hold them under long enough.
  • A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
  • Men's brains are like the prison system - not enough cells.
  • Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
  • You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

Ocean Insult

You remind me of the ocean... you make me sick.

Perfect Defense

You've got the perfect weapon against muggers. Your face.

Yo Mama - Look Up

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks up, it starts to rain.

Like a Million Bucks

You have a face like a million dollars... All green and wrinkled!