A Newfie

Q: How do you get a one-armed newfie out of a tree?
A:  Wave!
Q: How do you get a two-armed newfie out of a tree?
A:  Wave both hands!

Men and Laxatives

Men are like laxatives... they irritate the shit out of you.

Good Deed

Harry, a new technical salesperson, is waiting to meet his prospect in the lobby of the Trump Soho in New York.  He sees Donald Trump walk in the main entrance and gets an idea. Harry introduces himself to Mr. Trump and asks a favor. “I’m meeting an important prospect here in a few minutes,” says Harry. “Would you mind just passing by and saying hello? It would really impress my client if he thought I knew you.” Mr. Trump says he'd be glad to help out and a few minutes later he spots Harry deep in conversation with his client. He walks up, taps Harry on the shoulder, and says, “Hi, Harry. How are you doing?” Harry turns around and says, “Buzz off, Trump, I’m busy.”