Stumbling and Mumbling
A drunk stumbles out of a bar one night and passes a woman walking her dog. The man stops her and asks, "Hey where'd ya get the pig?" The woman replies, "Listen you drunken bastard, that's a dog not a pig." The man then said, "Take it easy, I was talking to the dog"
Yo Mama - Mattress
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Ugly Drop Off
You're so ugly, when yo mama dropped you off at school, she got a ticket for littering!
Yo Mama - Dreams
Yo mama so old, she dreams in black and white.
Yo Mama - Kool Aid
Yo mama so fat, she wore a red sweater and everyone thought she was the Kool-Aid man.