Insult Collection 02

• If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
• You'd make a lovely corpse!
• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
• Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
• Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
• You're a wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits...huh?
• Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?
• You love nature in spite of what it did to you?
• I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?
• I wish I'd known you when you were alive.
• If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!
• What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.
• When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?
• I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
• You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
• Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.
• Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.
• I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest!
• If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
• There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
• Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?
• You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

Yo Momma - Burger King

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper, they gave her the sign.

Sex Change

This guy decides to get a sex change. So he goes to the doctors and has the thing done. A couple of weeks later he was talking to one of his old buddies about it. "Gee, it must have really hurt when they shot all that silicon into your chest to make your breasts." "Not really, I hardly felt it." "Well, it must have really hurt when they chopped off your manhood!" "Nope, I didn't really feel it either. The only thing that really hurt was when they drilled a hole in my skull and sucked out half my brain!"