Yo Mama - Legs Arguing

Yo mama so fat, when she walks down the street, her legs bargain with each other: "You let me go, I'll let you pass"; "You let me go, I'll let you pass."

Bless Me Father, For I Have Sinned

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin... it's simply a mistake."

Self - Made

I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!