Stupid Insults 22/31

• Off by one.
• Off his rocker/trolley.
• Oil doesn't reach his dipstick.
• On permanent leave of absence from his senses.
• On the batting end of a no-hitter.
• One bit short of a byte/word.
• One board short of a porch.
• One boot stuck in the sand.
• One bumper/rail short of a bank shot.
• One bun/donut short of a dozen.
• One car short of a chase scene.
• One card/marble shy of a full deck.
• One chip short of a megabyte.
• One clearance short of landing/taking off.
• One color short of color-coordinated.
• One diamond short of a ring.
• One dimension short of reality.
• One drool bib short of neat and tidy.
• One drop short of an empty bladder.
• One flower short of an arrangement.
• One flying buttress short of a cathedral.
• One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl.
• One fruit short of a basket.
• One gene short of a full chromosome.
• One goose short of a gaggle.
• One handle short of a suitcase.
• One hot pepper short of an enchilada.
• One inspection short of passing.
• One live brain cell away from being a talking monkey.
• One miracle wouldn't be enough to help him.

Stranger Than Fiction

If truth is stranger than fiction, you must be truth!

Don't Help Me

I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!