Must Be Out of Shape

The Top Signs You're Out of Shape

1. You've ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.
2. People at work only refer to you by saying "Hey fatso!"
3. You've thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.
4. Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.
5. Your record is 34 push-ups and you could have done more if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.
6. You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin' To The Oldies.
7. You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.
8. Watching Rocky 5 is your idea of a workout video.
9. The sales clerk nicely but firmly pulls you away from the jeans rack and whispers "Its Sansabelt Time, Tubby".

Sex Position

Q: What sexual positions make the ugliest babies?
A: I don't know; ask Yo Mama.

English Team visits Orphanage

The England Football team visited a Brazilian orphanage this morning. 'It's a heartbreak to see their sad little faces with no hope' said Jose, age 6.