Q: Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween?
A: They don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors.
Q: What streets do ghosts like best?
A: Dead ends.
Ever Been To Texas?
A guy was attending a masquerade Halloween Ball, and dancing with a girl who was wearing a map of Texas for a costume. Suddenly she slapped him hard and stalked off the dance floor. "What the hell happened?" asked a friend who had witnessed the entire event. "I'm not really sure." the man replied, rubbing his red cheek. "When she asked if I had ever been to Texas, I put my finger on Amarillo to show her, and she let me have it."
Q: Why did the skeleton love the iPhone 6?
A: Because he could bend it over and bone it.
Q: What's the best advice you can give to a witch on a broomstick?
A: Don't fly off the handle!