Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

French Valentine

Q: What did the French pastry chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?
A: A hug and a quiche!

Anonymous

Patty Wear

Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
A: Regular rocks are too heavy.

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Anonymous

Christmas Party Warning

A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drunk driving as we're getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.

Anonymous