Funny Thoughts

Vasectomy

I thought getting a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.
But all it did was change the color of the baby.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Racist Jokes (Black Jokes)
Submitted BY: Kemp2288

Hostage Situation

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
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Anonymous

Boston Freeze

My husband and I purchased an old home in Boston from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and the years first snow came early and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , U.S. State Jokes (Massachusetts Jokes) , Weather Jokes (Snow / Blizzard Jokes) , Weather Jokes (So Cold Here Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous