Answering Machine - Money

After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

Fancy Cookbook Instructions

Two bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it! Every one of the recipes began the same way -- 'Take a clean dish..."

Strange Dreams

There are three men in a hotel each wanting a room. The porter of the hotel says, "All the rooms are booked except for one room with a king sized bed." The three men are too tired to go to another hotel so they decide to take the room. The next morning, the three men wake up and the man on the left side of the bed said, "Wow, I had vivid dream of getting a wonderful hand job." The man on the right said, "Yeah, me too." The man in the middle said, "You two are disgusting, I had an ordinary dream that I went Skiing."