Only In America

Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Helium Factory

Just quit my job at the helium factory. I won't be spoken to in that tone!

A Precise Location

Attorney: "And where was the location of the accident?"
Witness: "Approximately milepost 499."
Attorney: "And where is milepost 499?"
Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."