Funny Thoughts

Life Is Like Toilet Paper

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get the faster it goes.

Categories: Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
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Twisted Logic

An alcoholic is just someone who is having a medicinal drink for a terminal illness
 

Categories: Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Suicide Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Bad Day Signs

  • You wake up on pavement.
  • You can't find the clothes you wore home from the party.
  • Your twin forgets your birthday.
  • You wake up to discover your waterbed broke, and then remember you don't have a waterbed.
  • You wake up with your mouth guard stuck, and then remember you don't wear a mouth guard.
  • Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband.
  • You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
  • Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Relationship Jokes (Blind Date Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
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