Tips for Driving People Insane!

HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy

• Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
• Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
• Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.'
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
• Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
• Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
• Don't use any punctuation in your e-mails
• Ask people what sex they are. When they answer, say "are you sure"?
• Stand in front of your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Father's Day

One morning, a son asked this father: "Why are you making
Mommy breakfast? Is she sick?" "No dear," I replied, "It's Mother's Day." "Oh," said the son, "then is every other day Father's Day?"

Lonely Adam

One day God was talking to Adam and he said "Adam you look lonely, I know I'll give you a woman but it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam said "what can I get for a rib?" The rest is history.