Funny Thoughts

Translation

A woman goes with her husband to the doctor for his exam. After the exam, the doctor pulls the wife aside and says: “Your husband is suffering from severe long-term stress, and he is a good candidate for a heart attack or stroke. If you don’t do the following three things, he will surely die. First, every morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Second, when he gets home make him a warm, nutritious dinner, and don’t burden him with household chores. Third, have sex with him several times a week.” On the way home, the husband asks the wife, “I saw the doctor talking to you and he looked serious. What did he say?” Wife: “He says you’re gonna die.”

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Anonymous

Snooker

As I was trying to make a difficult shot the referee asked if I needed a rest.
Nice of him, but snooker isn't that strenuous.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , One-Liner Jokes
Copyright © 2014 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

I Remember You

A guy is in the grocery store when a pretty woman smiles at him and says hello. He’s taken aback and can’t place her. “Do I know you?” he asks. “I think you’re the father of one of my kids,” she says. He racks his brain to think of how that could be. Then he remembers the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife. “Wow,” he says. “Are you the stripper from my bachelor party, who tied me down on the pool table, and did it with me, with all my buddies cheering, while your friend sprayed whipped cream on my butt? Boy, that was insane.” “No,” she says. “I think I’m your son’s math teacher.”

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Profession Jokes (Teacher Jokes) , School Jokes (Middle School Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Anonymous