Funny Thoughts

Definition of Stress

Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately deserves it.

Categories: Funny Thoughts
Anonymous

Satisfaction

Q: Why do lions think highly of themselves?
A: Because they have pride

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Riddles (Riddles for Kids) , Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Anonymous

Gift of Her Choosing

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car and a limo for exactly the same reason. The third man says, "I bought my wife a negligee and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the negligee, she can go screw herself."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Denied Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Masturbation Jokes)
Anonymous