If Men Ruled The World

• Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
• Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
• Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
• It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
• Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.

Why Ask Why - 2

• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
• You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Answering Machine - Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.