Strange Dreams

There are three men in a hotel each wanting a room. The porter of the hotel says, "All the rooms are booked except for one room with a king sized bed." The three men are too tired to go to another hotel so they decide to take the room. The next morning, the three men wake up and the man on the left side of the bed said, "Wow, I had vivid dream of getting a wonderful hand job." The man on the right said, "Yeah, me too." The man in the middle said, "You two are disgusting, I had an ordinary dream that I went Skiing."

Waiter

Being a waiter isn't a very glamorous job.
But at least it puts food on the table.

Never Face Facts

Never face facts; if you do, you'll never get up in the morning.