Work Quotes

• The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. Robert Frost
• The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse. Dennis Miller
• Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Edgar Bergen
• Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished. Leslie Nielsen
• The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. Slappy White
• I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. Robert Paul
• It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. Muhammad Ali
• A good rule of thumb is if you've made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you've made a serious vocational error. Dennis Miller
• I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K Jerome

New Job Vocabulary

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing who's to blame for a missed deadline or a failed project.
Chainsaw Consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
Ego Surfing: Googling one's own name.
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
Ohno Second: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a huge mistake.
SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Kids, Oppressive Mortgage.
Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
Treeware: Printed documentation or paperwork.
Xerox Subsidy: Free photocopies from one's workplace.

Forest Ranger Vacation

Have you every wondered, where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"