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The best jokes and joke writers!

Bottle of Evian Water?

Q: Ever wonder about people who pay $2 for a bottle of Evian water?

A: Just spell "Evian" backwards!

Random: How Come?

  • What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What?Are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."
  • What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving a piece of chocolate on the pillow? I awoke thinking my brain had hemorrhaged some sort of fecal matter.
  • Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is that about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
  • Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
  • Why do people give each other flowers to celebrate various important occasions? They're killing living creatures. Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
  • Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?
  • If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.. Your foot will change direction!!!

How Men Take Bubble Baths

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?

A: He eats beans for dinner.

Training a Human

Q: Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?

A: Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!