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The best jokes and joke writers!

Only One

Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."

Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."

Date Creep

Man: To make a woman laugh is the second best method to get her to sleep with you.

Woman: And what is the best method?

Man: Chloroform.

Woman: You are funny!

Man: Good choice.

Fresh Air

You're a breath of fresh air, just like my asthma inhaler!

Nightclub Pickup

This bloke went into a nightclub and saw a gorgeous honey sitting by herself at the bar, he asked her to dance. She agreed and they took to the dance floor for a slow one. While they were cheek to cheek, the guy said, "You really smell terrific. What's that you have on?" The flattered girl told him it was Chanel #5. Then wanting to return the compliment, she said, "You smell good, too. What is it that you have on?" "Well, I've got a hardon, but I didn't think you could smell it," the guy replied.

Let's Do It

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!