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Signs and Notices 16

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

  • At a restaurant in New York: "Tip-ing is not a city in China."
  • Here is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: "Snickers, 5 for $1.00. (limit 4)"
  • On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
  • Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA "Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
  • Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: "Run like Anything!"
  • Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
  • Sign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: "Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
  • Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"

Austrian Hotel

Sign in an Austrian hotel catering to mountain climbers: "Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots of ascension."


Sign in a restaurant: "We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone."

Actual Signs

  • Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
  • Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
  • Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
  • Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
  • Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
  • Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
  • Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
  • Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
  • Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

Restaurant Sign

Sign in a restaurant window: "T-bone: 99 Cents." (Then, in fine print underneath: "With meat: $14.95").