Actual Signs

• Sign in a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
• Sign in a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
• Sign in a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
• Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
• Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
• Sign at entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
• Sign at the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
• Sign in a bookstore: "We treat you write."
• Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

Bumper Sticker Lines Continued

Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.
Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.
Editing is a rewording activity.
Make yourself at home ... clean my kitchen. 
Allow me to introduce my selves. 
Better living through denial. 
I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up...
Chaos. Panic. Disorder.
My work here is done Too many freaks not enough circuses. 

Signs And Notices 02

• On a ski lift in Taos, NM: 'No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.'
• Official sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handprinted sign nearby: Window frightened.
• Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus. (translation of the Greek): 'Caution: Road Slippery from Grape juice'.
• A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race: Let's see who can go down hill the fastest.
• Sign in King's Canyon in California. 'Slow Parking Ahead'
• A billboard seen next to the highway, travelling from Johannesburg International Airport into town. An Ad for BMW showing a photo of a BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down. The caption reads:' Our hardware runs better without WINDOWS!!!'
• Two signs found on top of one another in a country kitchen several years ago: Restrooms to the left. Please wait for the hostess to seat you.
• Seen in a health food store. "Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot" "Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense."
• I went to a little hole in the wall restaurant: the sign read: Women are not served here. You have to bring your own.