Signs and Notices 16

These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations.

• At a restaurant in New York: "Tip-ing is not a city in China."
• Here is a great sign I saw in the grocery store: "Snickers, 5 for $1.00. (limit 4)"
• On a dock in Juneau, Alaska: "Safety ladder, climb at own risk."
• Seen on an electrical appliance store in Spokane, WA "Go modern! Go gas! Go BOOM!"
• Emergency Evacuation Plan posted in various places around my office building: "Run like Anything!"
• Biggs Septic Tank Service (near Nashville Tennessee) "Call Monday thru Friday, sorry, we haul milk on weekends."
• Sign on the wall of the office of an ethnologist: "Beware of bargains in 1. Parachutes 2. Life preservers 3. Brain surgery 4. Eye Care
• Billboard sign on a highway coming out of Austin, TX: "Nobody reads billboards.... But you just did :)"

Signs And Notices Around England

These are supposedly actual signs that have been found in and around parts of England.

• Sign in a Laundromat; Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
• Sign in a London department store: Bargain Basement upstairs.
• In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back, or further steps will be taken.
• Outside a farm: Horse manure per pre-packed bag DIY.
• In an office: After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
• On a church door: This is the gate of heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is to be kept locked because of the draft, please use side entry.)
• Outside a secondhand shop: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
• Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: The town hall is closed until opening. It will remain closed after being opened. Open tomorrow.

Bumper Stickers

• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
• A penny saved is ridiculous.
• All that glitters has a high refractive index.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Anarchy is better than no government at all.
• Any small object when dropped will hide under a larger object.
• Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.