Bumper Sticker Lines

• Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
• Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
• Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
• Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
• Adults are just kids who owe money.
• Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
• I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
• You! Off my planet! 
• Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
• I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that? 

I.R.S. Parking Tickets

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Boston Globe, April 13, 1990 "Is there justice in this world?"
Well, in Jacksonville, Fla., an Internal Revenue Service car parked outside the federal courthouse was "booted" for unpaid parking tickets, forcing tax collectors to fork over $122.50 to set it free. The IRS had to pay $95 for five tickets, a $25 removal fee plus $2.50 for processing to get the boot taken off, said Gertrude Bradley, clerical supervisor for the city parking division. With the tax-filing deadline closing in, courthouse employees were chuckling about the IRS' misfortune. But the agency was not amused. "We're not pleased with it," said spokesman Holger Euringer. Yeah, we're all really upset.

Real News Headlines

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years.
Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy.
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better.
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar War Dims Hope For Peace.
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While.
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in Years.