Old Man's Peanuts

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."

Secret Spice

Q: Which spice can't keep a secret?
A: Only thyme will tell.

Santa In Ethiopia

Once Santa Claus went to Ethiopia, to give the children some words of comfort. He was there, with all those bony kids all around, and then they started yelling: "WE WANT TOYS!! WE WANT TOYS!!!" Then, Santa, remembering his important job of orientating children to behave well, said: "A child who doesn't eat right doesn't get toys!!!"