Black Santa

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. Instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

Redneck Groceries

If your wife asks you to get some groceries, and you put on camoflage and grab a shotgun, you might be a redneck.

Irish Compassion

Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish accent:
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our five hour flight.
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."