Boy Born With a Head
A boy is born without a body, only a head. For his 18th birthday his father, takes him to a bar for a drink. The father orders his son a scotch and when the boy drinks it, an arm pops out of his head. He drinks another shot and another arm pops out. After the next shot a torso pops out. After more shots, suddenly, he has a whole body. The boy runs out of the bar and gets hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looks at the father and says, "He should have quit while he was a head."
You Don't Have To
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer: Why you little -- !
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."
"Son, I don't think you're cut out to be a mime."
"Was it something I said?" Asks the son.
I feel sorry for the children of same-sex couples.
You either have to put up with twice the number of Dad jokes, or you're stuck in an endless loop of "Go ask your mother."