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The best jokes and joke writers!

Royal Penis Comparison

The kings of Spain, France, and England all stand on stage together in front of their nations all ready to see who of the three has the largest penis.

The king of Spain takes his out and as they all see the impressive proportions all the Spanish people shout: "Viva Espania!"

The king of France is next and as his is even larger, all the French scream: "Vive la France!"

Next comes the king of England, and just as he drops his pants and takes his out, everyone exclaims: "God save the Queen!"

The Lizard of Oz!

Q: What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?

A: The Lizard of Oz!

Egyptian Scammers

Q: What is it called when you get scammed by an Egyptian?

A: A pyramid scheme.

Zoo Closed In Warsaw

I heard they closed the zoo in Warsaw. The duck died.

Foreplay

Q: What is the Australian for foreplay?

A: Brace yourself, Sheila!

Q: And the Welsh?

A: Are you awake, Gwen?