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The best jokes and joke writers!

Statistics don't Lie

Someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

Knock Knock - Spain

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Spain!

Spain who?

Spain to have to keep knocking on this door!

China

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese" -- Former French President Charles De Gaulle

About Face

Q: What twitter message did Ukraine's President Poroshenko send to Putin after the invasion?

A: The Crimea isn't yours, please retweet.

Amish Emergency Brake

An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am," said the cop, "I'm not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy." "Oh, I'll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home," responded the Amish lady. "That's fine. Another thing, ma'am. I don't like the way that one rein loops across the horse's back and around one of his testicles. I consider that animal abuse. Have your husband take care of that right away!" instructed the cop. Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. "Well, dear, what exactly did he say?" asked Jacob. "He said the reflector is broken," replied the lady. "I can fix that in two minutes. What else?" wondered Jacob. "I'm not sure, Jacob... something about the emergency brake"...